Be Like Mel: The Leader Mind-Reader
Because what you see isn’t always what your team is thinking
In the movie What Women Want, Mel Gibson’s character develops the uncanny ability to hear women’s thoughts. At first, it’s annoying. Then it’s overwhelming. But eventually, it gives him insight and empathy. He starts to get people on a level he never had before.
That’s the kind of superpower every leader needs.
Because here’s the truth: While your team may look like they’ve got it all together because they’re delivering great work, hitting deadlines, engaging in meetings, their internal dialogue might be filled with self-doubt. Especially if they’re dealing with impostor syndrome.
What you see is the outcome.
What you don’t see is the fear, the hesitation, or the internal tug-of-war that preceded or accompanies it.
In Chapter 8 of my book Get Your Best People to Give Their Best Effort, I unpack this idea and challenge leaders to “Be Like Mel.” No, you don’t need a lightning strike in the bathroom or a magical hairdryer accident. You don’t need mad scientist skills to read someone’s mind. But you do need awareness. You need curiosity. You need to pay attention to the subtle cues that tell you something deeper is going on.
Here’s an example:
The Procrastinator
You give them a new assignment and they’re genuinely excited. You walk away thinking, “This will be good.”
Then… crickets.
You don’t hear much until right before the deadline when suddenly they deliver a burst of productivity and outstanding results.
What happened?
They weren’t lazy. They weren’t disengaged.
They were stuck. Likely unsure how to start, paralyzed by a fear of not getting it right, or overwhelmed by the pressure to meet high expectations, either yours or theirs. Once panic dragged them through that invisible wall, their talent took over. But you only saw the outcome, not the internal struggle that preceded it.
And that’s the point.
If you only manage what you can see, you’ll miss what your team is really going through. But when you learn to spot the clues. When you start listening like Mel you’ll be able to lead with more empathy, effectiveness, and impact…without coming across as the creepy know-it all, or stalker-person.
More Clues:
But wait. There’s more. More clues to look for, and some of them may surprise you:
- The over-preparer who stays up until midnight tweaking already-excellent work
- The one who never delegates because they’re afraid asking for help will make them look incompetent
- The perfectionist who keeps moving the goalposts, never feeling like the result is “good enough”
- The failure-avoider who only takes on tasks they’re sure they can crush
All of these are outward behaviors masking inward battles. The better you get at spotting them, the better you can lead your bold, brilliant (but sometimes silently struggling) team.
Want to know more about these (and other) hidden clues and how to spot them? That’s what Chapter 8 is all about. Find the book on Amazon!
What are your thoughts on this? Let me know!
