When You Think Someone Else is the "Real Deal."
I’ve had the privilege of speaking at some incredible events, sharing the stage with brilliant minds across STEM, leadership, and business. But recently, I found myself feeling a little…intimidated.
I was scheduled to be the opening speaker at a women’s conference. I arrived at the venue the day before for the microphone & tech check. When I met the AV crew in the auditorium, they were working with another speaker who was scheduled after me. I was shocked! It was Colonel Eileen Collins—a former NASA Shuttle Commander, the first woman to command and pilot a space shuttle. A literal history-maker.
And suddenly, I had this nagging thought:
“What could I possibly say that would be impressive to someone like her?”
The “They’re the Real Deal” Trap
This is a classic example of impostor syndrome sneaking in—when we assume someone else has the credentials, experience, or brilliance that makes them the real deal, and we somehow don’t measure up. Even with my own NASA background, even with years of experience speaking on impostor syndrome, I still had that moment of doubt.
But here’s the kicker—when I made the effort to move beyond my own mental roadblocks and engage her in conversation, I discovered she was incredibly kind, thoughtful, and warm.
The next day, after we both delivered our talks, we reconnected to chat, and spread some mutual admiration on each other. She said she loved my talk and learned a lot. And she thought I was way smarter than she is!
Wait, what? A NASA Shuttle Commander thought I was smarter than her?
The Mirror Effect
This was such a powerful reminder that the same self-doubt we feel is often reflected back at us from people we admire. While I was busy thinking, Wow, she’s amazing, she was sitting there thinking the same thing about me.
I loved her talk as well—especially the incredible videos she shared of shuttle missions and her experiences in space. And yet, she sat through my keynote, nodding along, taking notes, and walking away with new insights.
The Lesson: You Belong Here
Impostor syndrome makes us believe that others are operating at a different level—that they’ve somehow unlocked the secret sauce we’re missing. But the truth is, we’re all just people with different areas of expertise, different experiences, and different ways of contributing.
If you’ve attended my keynote you’ll appreciate this: She has a cool dot. So do I. Our dots are different, but they’re both valuable and special.
If I had let my initial intimidation keep me from engaging with Eileen, I would have missed out on an incredible conversation. Instead, I walked away reminded that mutual respect is a two-way street—and that even astronauts can experience self-doubt.
So the next time you’re convinced someone else is the “real deal” and you’re just an imposter, remember: they might be thinking the same thing.
And maybe—just maybe—you’re both not just wrong. You both totally BELONG.
This Post Has 2 Comments
Great blog Maureen – I’m glad you were able to connect with the Commander after both of your talks. You both belong!
thanks for info.