Imagine two coworkers, Tim and Jenny, both at the top of their game, both wrestling with that sinking feeling of “I don’t belong here.” Tim leans in with a forced smile, masking insecurity with bravado. Jenny hesitates to speak up, doubting whether her voice belongs in the conversation. Different expressions. Same impostor syndrome.
While the term itself doesn’t discriminate, the way people experience and respond to it often does, especially along gender lines.
Men and Women: Not If, but How
I’ve framed this topic through a male-female lens, both because of my own beliefs and because the majority of research data is collected and analyzed that way. While it’s not a reflection of every individual’s journey, it does provide a useful starting point for leaders who want to better understand and support their teams.
Both men and women experience impostor syndrome. But the way it shows up and how they talk about it, act on it, and recover from it, often differs. It’s not about one side having it worse. It’s about different playbooks, different brain function and different behaviors shaped by societal expectations and internal wiring.
In my keynote programs, I see the pattern firsthand. Women line up to confess their self-doubt, seeking reassurance and camaraderie. Men? They often want to talk about my NASA days, and their own professional impact and past days of glory. Only a few will quietly mention their own doubts. Neither approach is better or worse—they’re just different.
The Research (and the Rumors)
Some studies say women struggle with impostor syndrome more than men. Others say it’s equal. The truth is, it’s murky. What is clear is this: women often internalize failure and question their worth. Men often mask it with performance or overcommitment.
This shows up everywhere, especially in how people process success and failure.
Fritz Heider’s attribution bias explains it well:
– Men succeed? It’s skill.
– Fail? It’s the system.
– Women succeed? “I had help.”
– Fail? “That’s on me.”
That leads to a huge disconnect in team dynamics and leadership development. If your high-performers can’t fully own their wins—or won’t admit their missteps—you’ve got a self-trust problem brewing.
The Myth of the HP Study
You’ve may have heard of the Hewlett Packard study that concluded women only apply to a job posting when they meet 100% of the qualifications. Men apply if they reach 60%.” At first glance, it makes sense.
However, no such study was performed. The “conclusion” is not based on real research, but rather a random quote that grew wings.
Still, it resonates because it feels true. I remember nearly talking myself out of applying for a promotion at NASA because I wasn’t as experienced (i.e., old) as the other applicants. I don’t even know if a certain number of years of experience was a requirement, but in my mind I assumed it was. I had way fewer years on the job than the other applicants, which made me think I wasn’t qualified.
But after telling myself I’d regret not trying, I applied. I’m so glad I did! I got the promotion, and the role was a pinnacle experience for me. The same could happen to you.
What Leaders Need to Know
Impostor syndrome isn’t one-size-fits-all. Supporting your team means understanding these patterns:
1. Women may hesitate. Invite them to step up, speak out, and stretch.
2. Men may overcommit. Check in with their mental bandwidth and give them permission to not know everything.
3. Doubt masquerades behind both silence and bravado. Unfortunately so does confidence. Resist the temptation to assume one over the other.
Impostor syndrome may show up in both men and women, but it doesn’t wear the same outfit. The language of doubt sounds different depending on who’s speaking—and sometimes, who’s staying silent.
If you lead a team, you don’t need to become a psychologist. But you do need to become a student of patterns. Noticing how gender influences confidence, communication, and even self-permission isn’t just a bonus skill. It’s part of responsible leadership.
Because when you understand the nuances, you don’t just create a more supportive culture.
You unlock the performance, loyalty, and boldness your team didn’t know they were holding back.
And that’s not just good for your people. That’s good for business.